don’t assume others’ pain.

when someone hurls hate at you, demeans you for your choices, or are condescending in their demeanor, it always has nothing to do with you. they are simply reflecting a pain of their own. there is something within themselves that recognizes it as shame. that is a pain that they have to heal them-self from. if someone felt that you were a person who is truly in the wrong and in danger of whatever that triggered their hate, they would feel sorry for you instead. you might even get empathy from one who is genuine. hate, disdain and condescension are a preview to a self that is likely volatile, insecure and feels some type of internal pain.

but when you lash out back at them, you validate the hate and it is successfully transferred to you. also, by buying into the hate, you assume their pain. you will likely start feeling this pain yourself, and hurl hate towards others to make yourself feel better, and so on and so on. you can instead, be kind in your response because you feel bad that they have a pain with the disdain that they have shown. live truthfully and confidently, and don’t get rattled by someone else who is not doing the same. don’t make their pain yours, reject it.

© ruler of life 2017 Continue reading

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before the doctrine.

before anyone was ever an adult, they were someone’s innocent lovable bouncing baby. adults are then babies that grew up being indoctrinated with social and human construct. someone doted on the homeless guy on the street corner when he was a baby. the murderer was an innocent bouncing baby before they became the criminal they are now. the penniless barefoot woman, was just another innocent beautiful baby before being taught into understanding that they were born into poverty. we’re not wholly sullied as adults. we might forget how it felt to be an innocent child and bury the memory deep within us, however, that fact is still lodged in us. the wisdom of yourself as a child is within, whether you seek to be in touch with it or not. each and every person you lay your eyes on, was born free of all stigmas and was just as innocent as they were lovable. acknowledging that there’s still this perfect and unsullied lineage of every soul, because we were all born that way, can help you develop some compassion for every person you come across, and not judge them for whom they have become or what the world turned them into.

 

© ruler of life 2017

be a witness.

when I see beauty (grace) everywhere and feel overcome with a surge of gratitude for being a witness to it, I am reminded that each soul on earth was brought here to bear witness. being here to witness man’s greed and evil (as it is inflicted upon you) is such a heavy task. when something bad happens to you, try with your might to be a witness, instead of ingesting the hurt and compartmentalizing it within your heart. remove yourself from it and only bear witness. try a birds-eye view and step out of time, and be a witness looking in. you’ll gain a better perspective all the time.

© ruler of life 2017

 

 

stop punishing yourself.

every abuse that we tolerate means we are complicit [considering we’re able-bodied adults in a free world, of course]. we believe we deserve the pain, that somehow if we had done something different or if we had been someone different, we would be worthy of better. staying unhappy in any life situation is reflective of how we feel inside: not deserving or worthy of better. and remember, we’re not pointing fingers at anyone anymore. blame no one. no one else is in control of your destiny. stop punishing yourself. stop thinking you’re not worthy of a happy marriage or relationship. stop thinking you’re not worthy of your dream career. stop thinking that you are broken because you can’t conceive. stop thinking you’re the wrong weight/size. stop thinking you’re flawed in any way. stop thinking you’re not worthy of the best that life has to offer. stop. stop. these are all just programmed lies in your head. clean house and re-write a better program for yourself, one that is reflective of your heart and your true desires, and it’s conducive to your happiness.

blame no one.

it’s by default that one places blame on an absent father or mother for their struggles with life, even lack of intimacy and all others. like all others, those insecurities are build up within oneself, by them-self. it is wrong for a parent to be an absentee in their child’s life, but it doesn’t give one permission to think lowly of them-self. anybody’s feelings and actions, no matter if it’s a parent or not, are separate from your self. one’s validation does not lie in the hands of someone else. you are alive and that is validation enough that you deserve respect, love and kindness. however, whether someone else chooses to give their respect, love and kindness to you is not in your control. what is in your control is the respect, love and kindness that you can give your self. and so if you have feelings of hurt and/or abandonment, you have to let go of it. it’s impossible for someone else to come to you and remove those feelings from you. you have to eradicate the judgment you have placed on yourself. forgive yourself for what you have done to your self and let the hurt fizzle out into thin air. you have the power to do that. free yourself, all else will fall into place once you do that. love and security will find their rightful place within you and all around you, now that you have made room.

© ruler of life 2017

 

 

 

 

assume nothing.

disagreements between friends, family and strangers mostly happen because of assumptions. assume nothing. accept what they tell or show you and meet people where they are, and don’t try to think for the other person, whether it is good thoughts or bad ones, chances are you will get it wrong. you will never be in their skin, no matter how much you think you know them. only think of your position and voice it. do not try to think for someone else, or make excuses for them or vilify them in your thoughts. assume nothing at all. you will be less fearful, less judgmental, will stop self-sabotage and will be more open-minded.

© ruler of life 2017