every abuse that we tolerate means we are complicit [considering we’re able-bodied adults in a free world, of course]. we believe we deserve the pain, that somehow if we had done something different or if we had been someone different, we would be worthy of better. staying unhappy in any life situation is reflective of how we feel inside: not deserving or worthy of better. and remember, we’re not pointing fingers at anyone anymore. blame no one. no one else is in control of your destiny. stop punishing yourself. stop thinking you’re not worthy of a happy marriage or relationship. stop thinking you’re not worthy of your dream career. stop thinking that you are broken because you can’t conceive. stop thinking you’re the wrong weight/size. stop thinking you’re flawed in any way. stop thinking you’re not worthy of the best that life has to offer. stop. stop. these are all just programmed lies in your head. clean house and re-write a better program for yourself, one that is reflective of your heart and your true desires, and it’s conducive to your happiness.
it’s by default that one places blame on an absent father or mother for their struggles with life, even lack of intimacy and all others. like all others, those insecurities are build up within oneself, by them-self. it is wrong for a parent to be an absentee in their child’s life, but it doesn’t give one permission to think lowly of them-self. anybody’s feelings and actions, no matter if it’s a parent or not, are separate from your self. one’s validation does not lie in the hands of someone else. you are alive and that is validation enough that you deserve respect, love and kindness. however, whether someone else chooses to give their respect, love and kindness to you is not in your control. what is in your control is the respect, love and kindness that you can give your self. and so if you have feelings of hurt and/or abandonment, you have to let go of it. it’s impossible for someone else to come to you and remove those feelings from you. you have to eradicate the judgment you have placed on yourself. forgive yourself for what you have done to your self and let the hurt fizzle out into thin air. you have the power to do that. free yourself, all else will fall into place once you do that. love and security will find their rightful place within you and all around you, now that you have made room.
© ruler of life 2017
disagreements between friends, family and strangers mostly happen because of assumptions. assume nothing. accept what they tell or show you and meet people where they are, and don’t try to think for the other person, whether it is good thoughts or bad ones, chances are you will get it wrong. you will never be in their skin, no matter how much you think you know them. only think of your position and voice it. do not try to think for someone else, or make excuses for them or vilify them in your thoughts. assume nothing at all. you will be less fearful, less judgmental, will stop self-sabotage and will be more open-minded.
© ruler of life 2017