don’t assume others’ pain.

when someone hurls hate at you, demeans you for your choices, or are condescending in their demeanor, it always has nothing to do with you. they are simply reflecting a pain of their own. there is something within themselves that recognizes it as shame. that is a pain that they have to heal them-self from. if someone felt that you were a person who is truly in the wrong and in danger of whatever that triggered their hate, they would feel sorry for you instead. you might even get empathy from one who is genuine. hate, disdain and condescension are a preview to a self that is likely volatile, insecure and feels some type of internal pain.

but when you lash out back at them, you validate the hate and it is successfully transferred to you. also, by buying into the hate, you assume their pain. you will likely start feeling this pain yourself, and hurl hate towards others to make yourself feel better, and so on and so on. you can instead, be kind in your response because you feel bad that they have a pain with the disdain that they have shown. live truthfully and confidently, and don’t get rattled by someone else who is not doing the same. don’t make their pain yours, reject it.

© ruler of life 2017

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