It’s the 21st century as you may know, and on Facebook a female friend dramatized a plane ride she took on Kenya Airways that was so smooth, perhaps the smoothest ride she has ever been in, so much that she was bound to commend the pilots. Even better, she found out it was two female pilots, of which, was a prompt for celebration, victory even, from how she told it. I smiled at the story, but thought no big deal, excellence is expected of us women. It’s not only men who are expected to land a plane meticulously as these women did, so why be surprised or shocked or dramatize it?
I tuned in to a morning talk show after, and one of the presenters announced that she was engaged to be married. Deafening screams ensued and the whole cast encircled her for a chance to get a glimpse of the ring.
Apparently the couple has been together for six years, and everyone around the bride-to-be felt obliged to comment on her relationship, insinuating that he (her man) should ask the “poor” girl to marry him. She was basically looked at as less than, something of no value because clearly if she was, the man would ask her to marry him. After much persuasion, the man finally adhered to the plight of this young woman’s friends, colleagues and fans alike, and asked her to marry him.
They shed tears for her as I watched, and everyone was extremely excited. The girl was no longer barren or fruitless after all, the man proved it by asking her to marry him.
I will tell you what disturbed me the most. They all hurdled and made a call to the man to congratulate him as well. While on the phone, one of the girls told him, “As you already know, you are getting a gem.” Another one said something else in a desperate cry with an expression similar to saying the man is gonna get his money’s worth, that he didn’t make the wrong decision.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I just took for granted that two female pilots conducted a most pleasant and successful plane ride, only to see a woman desperate for a man to marry her. I just saw women make it a man’s choice and only his choice for a woman to be married. What happened to two people being equal in a relationship? What happened to both people deciding they want to marry each other and having equal share of power on this topic? Fine, when they are both in agreement with where there are going, the dude can bring a ring and plop on one knee.
You mean to tell me that there are women out there that have completely no clue that their men is thinking about asking for their hand in marriage, and if he does ask, this is it?
So there are women going around living their lives, with their aspirations and goals in mind, and all of a sudden their boyfriend asks for their hand in marriage out the blue, and they oblige because this is a jackpot of some sort, while their world takes a turn that they didn’t have a hand in orchestrating? Are we seriously at the mercy of men in the 21st century?
Forgive me if I’m ignorant, but we can’t hold marriage to be what it was gazillion years ago. It has to be adjusted to fit into the 21st century. Have you seen the divorce rate? Quick question, since apparently the woman should leave it to the man to want to get married, who decides that a divorce is imminent when the marriage is not working? Is it the man again who has that right? Oh, is it like old times when the woman is seen as tarnished if she’s a divorcee?
Well, it’s actually not like that anymore. A woman can decide to divorce her husband if she wants to. In these times marriage can last anywhere between 2 days, 3 months, 1 year, 2 years and so forth. So clearly, it’s not what it used to be.
Another story came up on tv about a certain celebrity who dated an equally famous man for 6 or 7 years and the news reported that at 37 years old, she has wasted her glorious child-bearing years on him now that they have broken up. Well, how about you ask her if she even wanted to have children? Why is it your business to determine that she’s a suffering woman because the man didn’t marry her?
I’m gonna need women to take control of their life in this matter. I’m gonna need women to continue with our plight of gender equality, equal pay, and equal rights. I’m gonna need women to be an equal deciding factor in the choice of their marriage. I’m gonna need for women to decide whether “THEY” want to get married or not. I’m gonna need society to back off.
****Makes a call to Hillary Clinton. “Girl, are you running for President?****”I got you!”****
End of story.
Copyright © 2015 by Selwana Hudson. All Rights Reserved.