it’s by default that one places blame on an absent father or mother for their struggles with life, even lack of intimacy and all others. like all others, those insecurities are build up within oneself, by them-self. it is wrong for a parent to be an absentee in their child’s life, but it doesn’t give one permission to think lowly of them-self. anybody’s feelings and actions, no matter if it’s a parent or not, are separate from your self. one’s validation does not lie in the hands of someone else. you are alive and that is validation enough that you deserve respect, love and kindness. however, whether someone else chooses to give their respect, love and kindness to you is not in your control. what is in your control is the respect, love and kindness that you can give your self. and so if you have feelings of hurt and/or abandonment, you have to let go of it. it’s impossible for someone else to come to you and remove those feelings from you. you have to eradicate the judgment you have placed on yourself. forgive yourself for what you have done to your self and let the hurt fizzle out into thin air. you have the power to do that. free yourself, all else will fall into place once you do that. love and security will find their rightful place within you and all around you, now that you have made room.
© ruler of life 2017